Just The Falling

Just the falling:

there’s so little truly in my control — it seems that life is more about the appearance of things and then my response to whatever’s been given. Life happens completely on its own and it’s an illusion of belief that I am somehow a separate event from it all. Clearly seen, I am an aspect of life in free fall, nothing to grasp, and no solid place in which to land.

there’s just falling,

a surrender without cause.

life continues happening — and I am joined to its events, belonging to every current course without need to influence or control. Demands are still made, wishes given to the air, and desires declared. I am free, but not free of anything. I am full participant of life. Yet I know that my demands may be unmet, and that wishes and desires are often unfulfilled. When falling, it’s best to be unburdened, there’s no need to cling to any certain sense of comfort.

and that’s my surrender, with no debate to freewill or apparent choices to be made — there’s always my response, a decision given, and consequences happen. Nothing really changes in a bottomless fall, life continues, events occur, and I find myself participating in it all. It’s a strange fall indeed. Yet there is a subtle difference now.