Know Myself

Know myself:

that I more aptly know myself as a process, a bundle of seeming parts that act somehow as the whole affair of Eric — and even this is just a seamless show of life, one more aspect in an endless display of energy and structure, appearing and then gone once more. To know myself as this, sensing both my temporariness as well as my essential nature, is to relax into the very process of my being. Life is handling every important function of this, air given freely to be breathed, heart beating without thought or my command, every cell perfectly aligned to hold my form, and the world just right for my existence. I am grateful for it all, everything, for the whole process that somehow allows this self to arise and come to know itself as alive, existing, complete within the world.

and that just as easily…none of this might have happened.

to know myself, is to appreciate the impossibility of truly knowing a self at all, that no aspect can be taken from the whole, examined, analyzed, and declared independent in its own existence. I exist only as a process, being fully complete through the interactions of infinite sources that will forever remain unknown, mysterious in their cooperation.

and yet I know myself as this impossibility.

somehow.