My World

My world:

the post pandemic world hasn’t offered me a return, or perhaps it has and for some reason I have refused to take it, being withdrawn now to my own particular way of living. I think of the many things lost during these past two years, my father and the role of caregiver, a small business gone, and the near countless little things that simply never returned. It just doesn’t seem that there’s a normalcy for me to come back to, and honestly, I’ve yet to truly make the effort.

and I’m not really sure why.

maybe it’s because I would have to make an effort, it would feel forced and unnatural now, superficial, being another world that could be taken from me in an instant. I’m at scorched earth at this point, bare essence, and not looking to rebuild so much as to find my way to a completely new world. I’m ready for a quiet way of living.

a new way of being.

of course this makes me sound reclusive, a hermit in the suburbs shying away from people. But honestly, from my perspective, it feels more engaging, selective, intimate. The people that I encounter hold a place of deep meaning for me, no ones a stranger, it seems as if the universe has conspired to bring each person to this moment and that we get to share this as an occasion of significance. Almost holy. My new world is welcoming, yet guarded too, not from others, but…