Wounded Mind

Wounded mind:

this morning I woke, hours earlier than usual, and with a wave anxiety building to the verge of panic. It’s been awhile since this has occurred, well over a year now, but still familiar in its grip. This time it was triggered by a chest cold that made it difficult to breathe through the night, waking me with a choking gasp for breath. It doesn’t really matter though, as every bout of anxiety stems from a tiny thought of fear that’s run wild, raging larger and stronger over a short course of time.

so that was my early morning.

fortunately, I have some tools at my disposal, even if they’re hard to access at the moment anxiety happens. First there is a reservoir of emotional health that I’ve been building, a daily cultivation of breathwork, mindful motion, and settling into the stillness of meditation. This is my bedrock, long established, and available as a strength for me to draw from. What this has done is cultivate a field of awareness that allows me to recognize a fearful mind. Just this background sense of calm alone is often all that’s needed to lay some fear aside. It also provides a small opportunity to initiate a break in rampant thoughts, one mindful breath is often enough, a brief hum to provide a sense of calm, or some gentle motion that settles the body down.